Admit it, we know nothing
Warning: this post is personal for me. I’m only sharing it with my subscribers, but you can share it more broadly if you think it will help someone else.
My wife has Atypical Parkinson’s Disease with PD/Lewy Bodies dementia. She was diagnosed three years ago, and the progression (movement-side and cognitive-side) has been much faster than typical PD.
Because of Michael J. Fox and his transparency about Parkinson’s, most folks think they understand what my wife and I are going through. However, because of the variety and complexity of the disease, they don’t
The reality is that everyone has their own “version” of the disease. So, when folks tell me they understand and/or know what I’m going through OR try to tell me how to fix it, I think to myself that they are well-intentioned, but they—
Don’t have a clue!
And I wish they would acknowledge that and be more open-minded, curious, and supportive.
But this post isn’t just about us and our situation. I’ve been thinking that it applies to many situations—
Folks on the Neurodiversity spectrum,
Folks who’ve just lost a loved one,
Folks who’ve lost a dear pet,
Folks who were laid off from their jobs and struggling to pay their bills,
Folks who have suffered from bullying or other trauma,
Folks who don’t have my privilege or standing,
LGBTQ+ folks who are struggling to be seen and heard,
And the list goes on…
When will we understand that unless we’ve gone through exactly what another person is going through, we know nothing about it. Zilch. Nada. Zip. Zero.
Instead of acting like we do, why don’t we quietly acknowledge that we know nothing and give them our heartfelt support and encouragement—and perhaps a hug?
Stay agile and more aware, my friends,
Bob.
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