The question is, do I just keep it at a list, do I go all haiku and create a scroll, or do I make it one of my broken bedtime stories? Course another thought is, do I make it a song parody?
10 Uncomfortable Truths for Learning & Development Managers
1. No one wants to do your online onboarding modules including the C suite
But it's your job to make them because, compliance.
2. Your colleagues all think that creating a full day course takes 2 days
And they want it rolled out starting next week for 250 attendees
3. When a subject matter expert says they've created a course, it's a slide deck
You need a poker face, so you don't laugh when you see it's just their notes put on a slide deck
4. You'll bang on for years about needing to create a leadership program, but no one listens
Once it's finally approved, it was the CEOs idea
5. Once you get to manage the design and roll out of the leadership program there's no budget for it
Then it becomes your idea again and you have to write a long business case to get the funding
6. Once the leadership program is rolled out and is a success it's the CEOs idea again
In internal comms you are thanked for ordering the lunches
7. No one cares about compliance training until a week before an audit
Then you have to help the managers come up with valid reasons about why the training wasn't done without mentioning that they never responded to any of your emails about it
8. No matter what your experience, qualifications or seniority you will be known as The Training Lady
New staff will also approach you about booking rooms and ordering snacks for their meetings
9. You will often be asked by managers to fix their team members
When you ask what's already been done about the issue, you'll get a blank look
10. At performance review time, you discover that none of the managers train their staff
When you talk to them, they all say that training is a priority but isn't it your job?
May I translate these into German?
Of course.
I struggle very much with point two: promoting myself and my work. Or even describing what I do :)
Thanks Bob .. and in return ... here's '10 Uncomfortable Truths for Product Managers'
(That’ll Never Be in Your Performance Review)
1. Nobody asked you to be here.
You weren’t hired to lead, you were hired to translate chaos into bullet points.
2. Execution excellence won’t get you promoted.
But challenging the roadmap in public might get you fired. Good luck.
3. Most stakeholders want solutions, not problems.
And definitely not “problem framing.” That’s what your job title is for.
4. Velocity is a vibe.
Your burndown chart is a beautiful lie.
5. You're not shipping value.
You’re shipping PowerPoint decks about shipping value.
6. The roadmap is not a strategy.
It’s a calendar of future regrets, loosely grouped by quarter.
7. You don’t own the product.
Legal owns compliance. Marketing owns messaging. Engineering owns reality.
8. The Feature Factory isn't broken.
It’s functioning exactly as designed. And you're the foreman.
9. Most “customer insights” are just internal wishcasting.
But sure, let’s run another survey to confirm our bias.
10. You’re not stuck in the Build Trap.
You are the Build Trap. And you just booked a QBR from inside it.
Perhaps I'll nudge it to perfection later and make a post out of it sometime soon.
I'd love to see this turned into a post, Dean. Nicely done!
The question is, do I just keep it at a list, do I go all haiku and create a scroll, or do I make it one of my broken bedtime stories? Course another thought is, do I make it a song parody?
I say "KISS", Dean
There's no fun in that 😎
OK if we're doing this, here's mine:
10 Uncomfortable Truths for Learning & Development Managers
1. No one wants to do your online onboarding modules including the C suite
But it's your job to make them because, compliance.
2. Your colleagues all think that creating a full day course takes 2 days
And they want it rolled out starting next week for 250 attendees
3. When a subject matter expert says they've created a course, it's a slide deck
You need a poker face, so you don't laugh when you see it's just their notes put on a slide deck
4. You'll bang on for years about needing to create a leadership program, but no one listens
Once it's finally approved, it was the CEOs idea
5. Once you get to manage the design and roll out of the leadership program there's no budget for it
Then it becomes your idea again and you have to write a long business case to get the funding
6. Once the leadership program is rolled out and is a success it's the CEOs idea again
In internal comms you are thanked for ordering the lunches
7. No one cares about compliance training until a week before an audit
Then you have to help the managers come up with valid reasons about why the training wasn't done without mentioning that they never responded to any of your emails about it
8. No matter what your experience, qualifications or seniority you will be known as The Training Lady
New staff will also approach you about booking rooms and ordering snacks for their meetings
9. You will often be asked by managers to fix their team members
When you ask what's already been done about the issue, you'll get a blank look
10. At performance review time, you discover that none of the managers train their staff
When you talk to them, they all say that training is a priority but isn't it your job?